Prince George has a singles club that stays away from being a hookup scene, and its growing membership likes it that way.
The PG Singles Activities Group has more than 120 members, gathered up from the 60-plus official activities they have arranged in their few months of existence, and the outreach work by founder Cindy Bereck and the group's initial supporters.
When Bereck's marriage ended, it didn't sit well with her that the city's social scene for singles was heavy on the youth end but petered out before the age of 30. Knowing there were many in her situation, she and some friends decided to do something about it.
In the social media age, the Internet was the obvious first place they looked for communication tools, but that also led them to unwelcome places - websites aplenty dedicated to sexual goals but nothing for actually getting to know people and having platonic fun as the rule of engagement.
So they made their own.
"We meet face to face, we have real conversations," Bereck said. "I get told all the time 'I'd be home watching TV right now if it weren't for this group' so I know it's working."
She said some people joined and quit almost immediately because they learned quickly that it was a 'meet-up' club not a 'pick-up' club.
"For the single male, it offers female companionship without a full-blown relationship," said a longtime member named Gord. "You tend to do things you wouldn't do on your own, when you're with a group. About 10 of us went out to Nancy O's last night, and you don't feel like a third wheel or fifth wheel hanging out with your married friends, or couple-friends. You're with people who have at least being single in common, there are no pretenses about that, so you can be a little more free to be yourself."
He said the socializing aspects had no male-to-female context anyway. If someone posts "Hey everybody, I'm going to such-and-such a place on the weekend, everyone welcome" there is no way of knowing what ratio of men and women will show up.
"Someone just posted that they were going to the Farmer's Market for a bun and 16 people showed up," Gord said. "I just posted that I'll be doing the Rave Lake hike and I expect there will be at least a few come along for that, and maybe even a small group."
He described himself as someone who was comfortable being alone in his domestic life, but felt lonely in certain situations, and this group allowed both sides of that paradox to be healthy.
"Being my age, and somebody that people know in the community, it's difficult to just randomly going around dating," said Shannon Johnson, one of the original members. "This is a safe, respectful, friendly atmosphere, and I feel comfortable with the relationships I'm building both with the men and the women in the group. They are friendships. I was often the third wheel, a lot of my friends are with people, so when you're just along with them, you end up being that third wheel. This gives me a chance to go out and do a lot of different activities with people who are in the same situation and understand that feeling."
Mutual support is also a major factor for the group members. Everyone in the group understands that being single and over the age of 35 means having a personal and unique story, so active listening is also a component. What they don't do is wallow.
"Everybody knows that Prince George is loaded in great stuff to do," said Bereck. "There are more activity options than we could ever possibly get to, so boredom is not a word we know about. Our members are people who join because they are the kind who want to be out socializing and taking part in our community. There's nothing romantic about it, really, it is too busy."
Like most of the group members, Bereck is not seeking an end to her single status. These people are involved in the group to fill their social calendars not to pair up with someone exclusive. If romance happens to flourish, that is an unintended side effect.
"There are so many quality people in Prince George, but how do you get a chance to know that on a personal level," Bereck said.
