There is only deep sadness for Destiny Rae Tom, beaten to death in the middle of a winter night three years ago by her common-law husband, Garrett Steven George.
He was sentenced Wednesday in B.C. Supreme Court to another eight years and four months in federal prison for his horrible crime.
The brutality of Tom's death can't be washed away by the many tears George shed in the courtroom.
The pathologist was unable to declare a precise cause of death because she suffered three potentially-fatal injuries during a beating that involved punching, kicking and dragging her by her hair down a driveway. Nor can his weeping explain away the fact he left Tom unconscious in a ditch with her breasts and genitals exposed, a sure sign of his efforts to shame his victim and broadcast his complete dominance of her.
His emotional testimony during his sentencing hearing last month also can't erase how he tried to pin the blame for the murder on the two people who found Tom's body.
George's comments during the hearing, as well as his actions after his sentencing Wednesday, reveal a man who blames his victim for what happened.
He told the court a sob story about how she was verbally abusive and physically attacked him the night she died, as if that was somehow a mitigating factor in her death.
On Wednesday, as he was being removed from the courtroom at the end of his sentencing, he accused his lawyer of doing a poor job defending him.
In other words, he believes what happened is everyone's fault but his own and he's the one deserving of sympathy and mercy.
He deserves neither.
As the court was told, the beating that led to Tom's death was not the first time George used violence and intimidation against his common-law spouse. He assaulted her regularly, even while she was pregnant. During the four years they were together, he was twice convicted of assaulting Tom but ignored court orders to stay away from her.
A third charge was stayed after he attempted suicide and was admitted to hospital under the Mental Health Act.
He used the suicide attempt as a further means of domination. Once out, he texted her to say he would kill himself if she didn't take him back. She left her Prince George job and returned to the Nadleh reserve to live with him and his family. Once there, she was under George's full control, even her coming and going from the home. When she talked about leaving, he would threaten to commit suicide and tell her she would be blamed for his death. She was told he was the boss and she could not even attend a scrapbooking class at the Nadleh band hall. Two weeks before she died, she was beaten and choked in front of witnesses at a party for having the nerve to tell him it was time for them to leave.
Psychologists have extensively studied the relationship between abusers and the abused that social workers see all of the time. In George's mind, there is likely no contradiction between his love and his abuse and murder of Tom. In other words, he cared for her so much that he was willing to kill her to keep her.
Hence his crying and his frustration with his lawyer for not doing better at convincing the judge that Tom's death was an accident, a fierce love gone wrong.
What a load of garbage.
George simply spun a tale of convenience in his head to normalize his brutal behaviour and convince himself that he's the good guy, he's the wounded party here and everyone else just doesn't get it.
Maybe Tom convinced herself that she deserved the abuse he gave her or that she could turn him around, both common characteristics of abused women. Her words and actions in her final days reveal a woman living in deep fear, showing compassion and consideration for George because if she didn't, more beatings were sure to follow. Based on comments Tom's mother made outside of the courtroom Wednesday, there was also cultural pressure, coming from a tradition about the importance of the father clan in caring for the mother clan.
All of those lies and excuses sadly live on in too many women trapped in abusive relationships. They also live on in George, heading off to jail convinced the only victim here is him.
-- Managing editor Neil Godbout
