At parties, I am the person no one wants to talk to.
People stare blankly at me and then politely say they need some more shrimp. My name is Laura Nordin, I am the executive director of SOS Society. What is that? We are the sexual assault centre. We counsel men, women, youth and children who have been sexually abused.
While everyone knows the moral, emotional and mental impact and existence of sexual violence, residential schools, rape trials and child pornography cases in our community, no one really wants to talk about it or to me.
The SOS Society has existed in Prince George since 1983; its three founding members - Anne Halikowski, Lorrain Hilland and Karen Underhill - were 2016 Citizens of the Year. The women founded the organization as a grassroots feminist organization as they could not find support and couselling as survivors of sexual abuse.
The women formed a society, and over the years funding was established through grants, government sources and proposals. Each year the agency sees between 200-240 new clients every year. The length of treatment varies and most people are two to years.
People are simply paralyzed by the words sexual assault, rape and child sexual abuse. If you have read this article this far, good for you! You have done more than most.
Why is that no one wants to talk about this or to me? Sexual violence is "icky." Everyone knows it exists, it damages those who have experienced it, it costs taxpayer dollars and yet it continues in our community.
Here are the stats: 460,000 sexual assaults in Canada every year, only 33 of every 1,000 assaults are reported to police, 29 are considered a crime, 12 have charges laid, six are prosecuted and three lead to conviction, which means 997 assailants walk away free. (Limits of a Criminal Justice Response: Trends in Police and Court Processing in Canada. Sheehy, 2012).
The reason I believe people cannot discuss this "icky" topic is that they feel powerless and unable to stop this, much like the survivors of sexual violence themselves. People feel overwhelmed or disgusted by the idea that sexual violence really happens and that far too often it is by someone you know.
In addition, we often know people who have experienced sexual assault and are different than what they were before the assault. We can find ourselves not knowing what to do or how to react. Sometimes we simply gloss over it when we hear about allegations regarding Donald Trump or Bill Cosby or residential school survivors. Why can't people get over it or just move on? Well, the answer is people just can't move on. If we focus on it and put a face to it, we get revolted. We feel anxious, disgusted, uneasy, we may space out, we want to avoid this disturbing information because of these feelings. This is especially true if it involves a child, or we have a child or grandchild ourselves. We start to visualize the horror and then cannot emotionally or mentally go there so we shut off, a totally normal human response.
The real truth is that as individuals to shift our society to be free of sexual violence, we need to do two things: one, in those opportunities when we see it in our community, educate our children and youth, offering support to those who have survived sexual violence (one in three women and one in five men in their lifetimes) and two, we support those to do the work, which means me and my crew of dedicated therapists.
How can you help? Support us by donating online to www.canadahelps.org/en/pages/sending-out-an-sos/.
We are having a fundraiser in the spring and are looking for items for the silent action. Help us so we can help the people in the community. Someone said once "I didn't know we had a sexual assault centre."
"Of course not," I said. "You did not need one so why would you look for one?"
-- Laura Nordin is the executive director of the Surpassing Our Survival (SOS) Society in Prince George
