The wisdom she holds radiates from her entire being.
When Lheidli T’enneh Elder Darlene McIntosh moves to the front of any room to offer a welcome to her peoples’ Traditional Territory the audience is already sighing with relief in response to her peaceful presence.
McIntosh is the cultural advisor at the Aboriginal Resource Centre at the College of New Caledonia where Indigenous post-secondary students are supported emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually through culturally relevant programming, including the academic advice she offers and the smudging ceremonies she performs.
Her door is always open to anyone to engage in conversation about the impacts of colonization, land stewardship, and every other tough topic that comes with Truth & Reconciliation. She is fearless.
Mary Quaw is McIntosh’s residential school-surviving mother. Mary and her siblings were all taken away to LeJac Residential School.
“The thing with my aunts and uncles is they experience gaps in their memory from when they were about five years old to about 11 years old,” McIntosh said. “A lot of it was blanked out and I would equate that to extreme trauma.”
McIntosh was the eldest of six children. Her mother had her when she was very young – just 17 and a half years old. A lot of the responsibilities of raising the family fell on her shoulders, she said.
McIntosh’s dad, Peter Zatorski, was Polish/Ukrainian and he was very hard worker.
“We went from feast to famine, depending on the job situation,” McIntosh recalled. “There were many positive aspects with my mother. From her experiences she taught us all to stand up for ourselves, advocate for ourselves, even though we were all very, very shy.”
They were the best-behaved children at public gatherings and when visiting family and friends, she added.
“My mother always set a high standard for us because of all the negative language she heard growing up attached to ‘Indian’ – ‘lazy Indian, dirty Indian, stupid Indian’ – all those negative brow-beating comments – she always had to be the best she possibly could be and expected the same from her kids,” McIntosh explained.
“She was also the one who knit our family together – more so than my dad, who was always out working – she was the mama bear, always protecting us, always standing up for us no matter what happened,” McIntosh said.
“Growing up was a challenge but I’m not negating it – I wouldn’t change anything about my life because it’s all about life experiences,” McIntosh said. “I know that’s why I am at the college. I completely believe that the way out of poverty, the way out of being isolated or segregated to a certain part of our society is education. The more education you have the more your world opens up.”
It’s not even about the formal education, McIntosh explained, but who you are exposed to – people who have different ideas and philosophies and beliefs that a student can learn about, providing a different perspective on the world, different cultures and different peoples.
“Being a cultural advisor in the Aboriginal Resource Centre at the college I know how to support our students in all aspects of who they are, it’s about the whole person – it’s about the physical, mental, emotional, spiritual,” McIntosh said.
McIntosh had a 30-year career as a dispensing optician before she became cultural advisor.
She switched gears knowing that she could provide the guidance young adults needed in a meaningful way. She’s been the cultural advisor at CNC for the last 12 years.
“Education is the key to experiencing life at a better level,” McIntosh said.
The Aboriginal Resource Centre is a safe place for students and McIntosh said she feels they are so fortunate to have that very important space at CNC.
“Usually Aboriginal students attending the college are coming from a remote reserve so coming into Prince George for them is like going to Toronto for the rest of us – it’s overwhelming and sometimes it’s too much,” McIntosh said. “They get home sick and want to go home and we’re here to say ‘hang in there, stick with it – if you hit the wall, take a step back, take a deep breath, reground, take a day and come back to it’.”
Everyone wants to quit at some point, McIntosh acknowledged.
“So my job is to provide encouragement and make sure that the student has the support system in place that they need,” McIntosh said. “A place to talk in safety, a place to ask questions and where they are pointed in the direction they need to go to get further support if needed.”
When McIntosh started 12 years ago she took a holistic approach.
The student is here – the physical. When they doubt themselves that is on an emotional level.
“But where was the spiritual aspect?” McIntosh asked. “And that’s not just for Aboriginal students, I’m talking about the whole college. We are made up of the four components physical, mental, emotional and spiritual and if you negate one you are not whole and complete. They all need to coincide and support each other.”
That’s when she decided to introduce the sacred ceremony of smudging, she said.
“And I was really scared to do this because I thought people were going to be rolling their eyes at me or critiquing me or judging me but I thought ‘no, I’m going to step out into the unknown and if I do it myself every morning so be it',” McIntosh said. “Pretty soon students started coming. Pretty soon I had instructors asking if they could bring their whole class to experience the smudge – and it wasn't about this is the right way and we want you to learn our way – the right way – it wasn’t about that. It was about needing to connect with that spirit within. I don’t care what culture you’re from because we all have a belief system.”
The smudging ceremony brought everyone together, McIntosh said.
“The smudging ceremony allows us to clear our energy field of all the old burdens – we feel tired, we feel stressed, we feel fear, we feel like we can hardly walk, we can’t breathe – how do we take in anything new if all the old stuff is still there – how do we clear the energy field?” McIntosh said. “In our belief system we go into ceremony – into a beautiful sacred circle and we pray for the individual and they pray for themselves to release the burdens off their shoulders – the fears, the anxieties – all the stresses we have. We use one or all of four sacred medicines gifted by Creator, we use tobacco, sage, sweetgrass and cedar. They all have good energy.”
McIntosh uses sage as it seems to always be gifted to her so she always has it, she said.
“So that’s my medicine,” McIntosh said. “That medicine is a feminine energy. It’s a cleanser internally and externally and it’s a protection.”
If someone is reluctant to join in a smudge McIntosh takes it down to the very basics.
“All it is, is an experience,” she said. “If you look at it and you don’t like it that’s fine – at least you’ve shared in an experience. And it really works. So then we’re combining all aspects of who we are to be the best person we can be.”
McIntosh is often invited to public events to offer a welcome to the Traditional Territory of the Lheidli T’enneh Nation.
Through her growing experience as an elder, knowing everyone is busier than ever before, she first insists that those in attendance at any event take a moment to become present, to take a breath, to ground themselves and stop for just a moment before resuming their overwhelmed, over thought, over worked lifestyle.
“I believe that I am guided by Creator and I trust in that and I trust my intuition because it’s right for me and I have to believe that,” McIntosh said about what she has learned and shares with others as an elder. “And you have to trust in yourself and believe that you have all the answers inside of you. Trust your instincts they won’t fail you.”
